As I was driving through a countryside cemetery with my partner and our 3 young children, it occurred to me I couldn’t remember his funeral preferences or where he’d wish to be buried should tragedy cut his life short.
We had had “The conversation” sometime after our first child was born, and figured we’d both be buried in the urban cemetery close to where we met and spent the majority of our lives. That way, our children could visit us and remember us in the city that brought us together.
Somewhere down the road, though, we talked about moving – whether it be to a new country to experience life in a different culture, to a small town to experience another pace of life, or to a bigger city to take things a step higher. And along that road, we failed to devise a contingency plan for our funeral and burial plans.
Just as we need to revise our insurance policies when we buy a new house, have a new baby, or trade in our car – so too must we review our funeral plans. Our wishes will likely change as we gather new ideas and outlooks on death, develop relationships with people and places, and how we define the importance and reasons of where we will choose to lay our mortal remains.
What you may have had in mind 10 years ago for your funeral is likely different than what it is today. Trends change, personal values are rearranged, and innovations emerge that sometimes enhance tradition.
You can always alter, revise, transfer, build upon, cancel or start anew your funeral plan. The important thing is to review it on occasion and let those close to you be aware of your preferences as they evolve.
In our case – where we are at in our lives will likely dictate how it all unfolds: we have made a plan to be remembered in the place that holds the most memories of our life story, and to be laid to rest where our children will bring their children to remember and reminisce.